Welcome reader! You are the most important person in my life as a writer. Why? Because without you I am nothing more than a weirdo, sacrificing his time and energy and talent on a none existing audience. Who wants that? Not me anyway. So reader, reader of stories and fiction books, reader of poems,of non fiction, of anything at all, welcome again. You will be a great comfort and consolation, you will help me believe that I can tell you something of value. Thank you.
Welcome writer! You are the most important person in my life as a writer. Why? Because without you, I would not believe in the beauty and power of the written word, of the composition of a good story, like music written in words.
I read many, many books. Not all the books in the world, that’s impossible. But I am grateful, grateful for your wonderful words, your powerful stories, your wisdom and your knowledge of the human kind. Thank you.
Starting writers welcome!
Starting writers, I feel for you, as you feel for me, I hope. Welcome!
Like scientists when they dream about their inventions, like painters seeing another reality, like musicians listening to sounds unheard by others, we dream a common dream, we see what everybody wants to see, we hear the silent voices of people willing to communicate. And so we decide to write. We write what is known already but not recognised, we write what is heard already but not listened to, we write persons into life. Persons who existed in the womb of our mind and want to be seen, want to exist. So fellow starters, thank you.
What can I do for you?
For the moment, I am starting up this blog about a starting writer of a fiction book. So it’s a double start and quite a challenge. I like a challenge. So let’s start.
What can I do for you? I can publish some of the pages from my book and ask for your opinion, I can give you my opinion about beautiful books already written, I can ask for your help with the title of my book in progress. I can ask for your help. Period. Because you are my readers and I love you. And I am sure you will help me.
What can I do for you? I can tell you what happens to me when I am writing. That might help starting writers. You can laugh your head of with another poor creature that even thinks it can write, write a book. And in the process of laughing you can forget yourselves. Or you can see that you are not the only ones having problems with the ever changing plot, the ever escaping characters, the all destroying doubt of a writer.
To start writing
How do I start writing? There are a lot of websites and blogs telling you how to start writing. Yes there are! Sadly, most of those sites are written by authors who already wrote a book, a whole book. I am not one of them. I suppose you are neither. So perhaps you will be glad to know that you are not the only one who started writing a book. Perhaps my experience will be recognisable. I surely hope so!
I am struggling day by day to even start writing. There seems always something else to do. Doing Spanish exercises on Duolingo, doing the dishes, talking with my husband who has to work in the afternoon and the evening, so I can’t ignore him, can I, playing Candy crush, walking with Foxy, our dog, Skyping with the children who live abroad, that’s to say, we moved to Andalucía in Spain, they stayed in their homecountry.
I do not consider myself as a lazy person. Honestly, I am not. Once I get started, I can concentrate for a long period and amuse myself a lot writing and searching and imagining.
But I have to get started.
Confident, I am not. When I am writing, I am almost always pleased with myself. When I am reading what I have written, I am close to desperate. It is good, it is not good, I want it, no I do not want it, shouldn’t I change the plot, the character, throw the page away, no throw the whole cursed book away.
Nightmares, you too?
When I am in my bed and try to sleep, the book mocks me, challenges me and takes turns in a different direction. When I’m finally asleep, I dream about the characters and they seem to haunt me, to be their diabolical selves in my dreams. They’re me, I know, but that’s no consolation. None at all.
Wine and cava , thank god.
Drinking alcohol is no help, but what a consolation. Writers shouldn’t be alcoholics, that’s for sure, but a good glas or two or three of wine or cava, after the writing, can do the trick. Which trick? I don’t know, but I am sure it helps. On a subconscious level perhaps. Or not. Who knows?
Can I even write?
Of course I can. That’s the only thing I am sure about. I had some proof in the past, but as I don’t like to brag about it, -dream on Coldice– I won’t annoy you with it. Nor myself. The past has one final characteristic which is: to be a reality that does not exist any more. So my writing now means that I have to write and wait for the result. You’ll decide if you like it. Or not. You decide. The reader.
I have to write. I have to. I am convinced that’s what I am made for. I always knew that I had to wait till I was older, though I wrote some beautiful things when I was young. Some poems all my life. Stories too. A year ago, even a Spanish one, for children, which my Spanish teacher adored. And my fellow students too. Hey, a bit of pride to encourage myself is allowed, isn’t it?
The fiction book in progress
If the book is good, thank god, if it is not good, thank the devil, but anyway, it will be written. And did I tell you already that I am stubborn? Yes, I did when I wrote “About C. Coldice”. In its positive form, it can be perseverance. Recommendable, when you are writing.
How to survive it
I am still alive and kicking. I write and I read and I write and I learn and I search and I write and I am still here.
Will I survive the writing? Of course I will. I have to. I want to.
Is it going to be easy? No. I know it because I am writing this unpredictable book. It is not only the Spanish sun that makes me transpire. Writing is hard work, even when you enjoy it . It makes you doubt about yourself, it makes you want to do anything, anything but writing and it makes you crave for more at the same time. It is a process of wanting and not wanting, as live it self can be. For me anyway.
Will I survive financially? Not for the moment and it scares me. As long as I am working on the book, I have to survive. How? It beats me. And thanks to my husband who supports me. Many thanks.
So you understand I have to succeed. I simply have too. Thanks to you all, I will, I am convinced of that. And when I succeed, you succeed. Because as a lifelong reader, I know what pleasure books can give. I will write my book with your support and I will give you my effort and my talent and my stories. I do hope you will enjoy them.
As long as I survive the writing process, I will keep you posted! Thank you all.