Cheating

Today, dear readers and writers, I am going to cheat.

Why? Because I am a writer and writers do cheat. Because I want to publish a 55 words story and I don’t want to write it.

Why not? Because  I am looking for arguments not to write. I want to write my book, I do not want to write about writing. Not today anyway. That’s the thing that really frustrates me, you know.  I am writing a book and as if that is not hard enough, I have to be a marketeer, I have to position myself on the world wide web, so that readers know I exist.

Why? How did other writers do it, before the web existed?They did not have to bother about publishing and finding an audience and  having a tribe. They could go on writing their book and their editor did the rest for them.  They did not have to do key word searches and study online marketing to be able to publish. So tell me, are we better of now? I really don’t know and I resent it. I do not want to be a marketeer.

Why not?  Because hey, I am a writer, not a marketeer. Because I want to write and if I was meant to be a marketeer, I would be one, and not a writer. If I was meant to be a model, I would have been born extremely beautiful, if I was meant to be a composer, I would hear music in my head, if I was meant to be a genius  I would have been very smart and  a man, if I was meant to be a marketeer, I would have been a bloody marketeer, but I am not. So leave me alone already, you people who tell me about positioning and giving and mailing! I am already giving away my writing, I am giving  you my whining and despair and a lot of self pity.  And I am giving you my compassion, fellow writers. Because there are  more desirable fates.

So today, I’ll publish a 55 words story that I wrote some years ago. It’s one of my favourites:  Triangle”. That’s another thing. I seem to be jealous of myself, of being a good writer once, and now… You know the feeling, don’t you?

 

Swimming and Writing

Writing contest

With this post, I am participating in the Writing Contest: “You Deserve to be Inspired.” Hosted by Positive Writer.

Swimming and writing

Since we moved from cold Belgium to Spain, I feel obliged to swim as soon as the pool opens, which is in April. Yes, in April!  We may be living in the sunny South of Spain, Andalucía, but the water is still cold in April, I can assure you.

So when I got into the water this morning, I had some kind of inspiration as I thought: swimming and writing have a lot in common. I have to admit though, that  a lot of things seem like writing these days, not only when I am swimming. But hey, writing is an absorbing process and it takes over your life, my life anyway.

So, there it is: swimming and writing.

I’ll do the swimming and you use the metaphor for your writing process.  OK?

1. I shave my legs

Before  I go to the pool, I shave my legs. Who wants to see a woman with hairy legs? Nobody, I guess.  So that’s what I do, when I  am planning to go for a swim.  Even if I don’t have hairy legs, I imagine I do and I shave my legs. Just to be sure.

I almost forgot: I  put on an ugly swim cap, as my hair turned green last summer. I  had to rub ketchup in it, to take the green colour away and I wasn’t too happy doing that. Though I like ketchup on my toasty, my hotdog and my French Fries. Or in mayonnaise.  But not on my hair.

2. I  go down the stairs and swim

No bravery needed, just a short moment of courage. I don’t jump into the water. No. I go down the stairs, feel the water, think that it is cold and start swimming in it, in the cold water. And then I die. I die during two strokes. It’s cold, it’s inhuman, I’ll never do it again … and then it’s over. It feels good. It feels really good.

I don’t feel the cold any more, only the water that carries my weight.

3. I fly   

Did you ever notice that swimming feels like flying? I do. When I am swimming, I’m becoming lighter and lighter and lighter, till I get the feeling that the water isn’t there anymore, that I am flying, that I’m happy and free.

Till my muscles hurt or till I swallow some water. Then reality makes me cold and heavy again.

But when I don’t feel like leaving the pool, I do continue swimming.

4. I save the occasional frog

I am not a particular fan of frogs, but when I see one, poisoned by chlorine and struggling in the water,  or floating on the surface, I get out of the pool, take the net that hangs on the wall, fish the frog out of the water and release him in  the grass.

One good deed a day and sometimes more. When there are a lot of frogs, like in April.

Some frogs survive, some die, some were already dead when I fished them out of the water. Poor frogs!

5. I add some swim laps every day

In the beginning of April, I start with twelve laps a day , then I add one or two  every day and, as I am lazy, I usually stop at  twenty.

Sometimes I swim  another twenty laps the same day. At another moment. When I feel like it.

6. I feel really good, hope you feel good too!

At a certain point, I decide to leave the pool. It’s when I am feeling tired or having arm muscle cramps or being hungry or  simply wanting to do something else.

One thing is certain: I feel satisfied. I feel satisfied that I went to the pool, braved the cold water,  continued to swim when I did not feel like it any more or simply because I swam the laps I wanted to swim.

And when I feel like it, I can always come back to the pool.

But whatever the case, I feel good. I feel really good!

I do hope you feel  good too, beloved fellow writer! I wish you lots of success.

How to Start Writing a Book for Beginners and How to Survive it

Readers welcome!

Welcome reader! You are the most important person in my life as a writer. Why? Because without you I am nothing more than a weirdo, sacrificing his time and energy and talent on a none existing audience. Who wants that? Not me anyway. So reader, reader of stories and fiction books, reader of poems,of non fiction, of anything at all, welcome again. You will be a great comfort and consolation, you will help me believe that I can tell you something of value. Thank you.

Writers welcome! 

Welcome writer! You are the most important person in my life as a writer. Why? Because without you, I would not believe in the beauty and power of the written word, of the  composition of a good story, like music written in words.

I read many, many books. Not all the books in the world, that’s impossible. But I am grateful, grateful for your wonderful words, your powerful stories, your wisdom and your knowledge of the human kind. Thank you.

Starting writers welcome!

Starting writers, I feel for you, as you feel for me, I hope. Welcome!

Like scientists when they dream about their inventions, like painters seeing another  reality, like musicians listening to sounds unheard by others,  we dream a common dream, we see what everybody wants to see, we hear the silent voices  of people willing to communicate. And so we decide to write. We write what is known already but not recognised, we write what is heard already but not listened to, we write  persons into life. Persons who existed in the womb of our mind and want to be seen, want to exist. So fellow starters, thank you.

What can I do for you?

For the moment, I am starting up this blog about a starting writer of a fiction book. So it’s a double start and quite a challenge. I like a challenge. So let’s start.

What can I do for you? I can publish some of the pages from my book and ask for your opinion,  I can give you my opinion about beautiful books already written, I can ask for your help with the title of my book in progress. I can ask for your help. Period. Because you are my readers and I love you.  And I am sure you will help me.

What can I do for you? I can tell you what happens to me when I am writing. That might help starting writers. You can laugh your head of with another poor creature that even thinks it can write, write a book. And in the process of laughing you can forget yourselves.  Or you can see that you are not the only ones having problems with the ever changing plot, the ever escaping characters, the all destroying doubt of a writer.

To start writing

How do I start writing? There are a lot of websites and blogs telling you how to start writing. Yes there are! Sadly, most of those sites are written by authors who already wrote a book, a whole book. I am not one of them.  I suppose you are neither. So perhaps you will be glad to know that you are not the only one who started writing a book. Perhaps my experience will be  recognisable. I surely hope so!

I am struggling day by day to even start writing. There seems always something else to do. Doing Spanish exercises on Duolingo, doing the dishes, talking with my husband who has to work in the afternoon and the evening, so I can’t ignore him, can I, playing Candy crush, walking with Foxy, our dog, Skyping with the children who live abroad, that’s to say, we moved to Andalucía in Spain, they stayed in their homecountry.

Lazy?

I do not consider myself as a lazy person. Honestly, I am not. Once I get started, I can concentrate for a long period and amuse myself a lot writing and searching and imagining.

But I have to get started.

Confident?

Confident, I am not.  When I am writing, I am almost always pleased with myself. When I am reading what I have written, I am close to desperate. It is good, it is not good, I want it, no I do not want it, shouldn’t I change the plot, the character, throw the page away, no throw the whole cursed book away.

Nightmares, you too?

When I am in my bed and try to sleep, the book mocks me, challenges me and takes turns in a different direction. When I’m finally asleep, I dream about the characters and they seem to haunt me, to be their diabolical selves in my dreams. They’re me, I know, but that’s no consolation. None at all.

Wine and cava , thank god.

Drinking alcohol is no help, but what a consolation.  Writers shouldn’t be alcoholics, that’s for sure, but a good glas or two or three of wine or cava, after the writing,  can do the trick. Which trick? I don’t know, but I am sure it helps. On a  subconscious level perhaps. Or not. Who knows?

Can I even write?

Of course I can. That’s the only thing I am sure about. I had some proof in the past, but as I don’t like to brag about it, -dream on Coldice– I won’t annoy you with it. Nor myself.  The past has one final characteristic which is: to be a reality that does not exist any more. So my writing now means that I have to write and wait for the result. You’ll decide if you like it. Or not. You decide. The reader.

I have to write. I have to. I am convinced that’s what I am made for. I always knew that I had to wait till I was older, though I wrote some beautiful things when I was young.   Some poems all my life. Stories too. A year ago, even a Spanish one, for children, which my Spanish teacher adored. And my fellow students too. Hey, a  bit of pride to encourage myself is allowed, isn’t it?

The fiction book in progress

If the book is good, thank god, if it is not good, thank the devil, but anyway, it will be written. And did I tell you already that I am stubborn? Yes, I did when I wrote “About C. Coldice”. In its positive form, it can be perseverance. Recommendable, when you are writing.

How to survive it

I am still alive and kicking.  I write and I read and I write and I learn and I  search  and I write and I am still here.

Will I survive the writing?  Of course I will. I have to. I want to.

Is it going to be easy? No. I know it because I am writing this unpredictable book. It is not only the Spanish sun that makes me transpire.  Writing is hard work, even when you enjoy it . It makes you doubt about yourself, it makes you want to do anything, anything but writing and it  makes you crave for more at the same time.  It is a process of wanting and not wanting, as live it self can be. For me anyway.

Will I survive financially? Not for the moment and it scares me.  As long as I am working on the book, I have to survive. How? It beats me.  And thanks to my husband who supports me. Many thanks.

So you understand I have to succeed. I simply have too.  Thanks to you all, I will, I am convinced of that. And when I succeed, you succeed. Because as a lifelong reader, I know what pleasure books can give. I will write my book with your support  and I will give  you my effort and my talent and my stories. I  do hope you will enjoy them.

As long as I survive the writing process, I will keep you posted! Thank you all.